Parent-teacher conference

Now I know for sure I'm a parent, because I participated in my first parent-teacher conference!

Most of the conferences were held at the start of the school year because they were intended as a way for parents to tell the teachers about their children. We just had ours on Tuesday, however, because we were out of town at the time of the originally scheduled conference, and I only recently got around to rescheduling it. (In the spring we'll have another parent-teacher conference, and at that point Isaac's teacher Jennifer will actually tell me about his progress in school.)

The conference only lasted ten or 15 minutes, but much useful information was exchanged. Jennifer said that Isaac seems very comfortable at school, and that he had only cried that one day he was confused about my plans for leaving. She said he had successfully made the transition from attachment to me, but she seemed a little chagrined when she admitted that he hadn't yet made the transition from attachment to her. She said it was probably her fault for comforting him with books at the start of the school year, but it was hard to resist because she really enjoys reading to him!

Sometimes when I ask Isaac what he did at school, he says, "I pretty much followed teacher Jennifer around." It turns out he's not exaggerating. He follows her, carrying a stack of books with him, and whenever he sees an opening he asks her to read to him. He is often responsive when she suggests he try something else -- he always does the day's art project, which Jennifer doesn't supervise -- but he immediately comes back to her when he's done.

So Jennifer and I agreed that some of our goals for the year are for Isaac to separate from her, to broaden his range of activities at school, and to select activities on his own. I suggested that perhaps she could start by sometimes suggesting that another adult to read to him, which she thought was a good idea.

I was sure to point out to her, however, that Isaac's behavior is not because he hasn't adjusted to school. It's consistent with his behavior at any busy and stimulating place, whether it's a playground, a kids' museum, or a birthday party. He is not shy or frightened, but he is cautious and slow to warm up. It just takes time before he is comfortable leaving the side of an adult he trusts. When he finally gets comfortable, however, he has a fun time exploring on his own. (It can take an hour or two, though, which is a very long time to have your kid standing close by your side while you say, "Why don't you go on the climbing structure?" or "Don't you want to try the petting zoo?")

I also mentioned that Isaac, being mild-mannered and easy-going, needs help learning to assert himself with other children. Far from being a shove-and-grabber, he's more likely to stand back when another child takes a toy from him. We've practiced role-playing exercises at home, but his polite "I wasn't done playing with that" or "May I offer you this toy instead?" are likely to be ignored in a fast-paced and noisy environment like his preschool. He also has a hard time with playground negotiations, like figuring out whose turn is next to use the digger in the sandbox. Jennifer agreed that without an adult to help guide him through these transactions, a child of Isaac's temperament is likely to become discouraged, and she said she'd bring it up at their next staff meeting.

I'm not sure how consistently the teachers will be able to help, though. It's a big school (40 three-year-olds in his classroom, plus they share the playground with two- and five-year-olds) and although there are lots of adults constantly interacting with the kids, I've noticed that the needs of quieter kids can get overlooked. Well, at least he's not hesistant to advocate for his right to be read to!

On the positive side, Jennifer reports that Isaac loves books (duh), has an impressive attention span, and has no problem sitting and focusing during circle time. He also loves to help her clean up at the end of the day!