"I love you so much, I want you to stay nearby always."
A touching sentiment, yes, but not what I want to hear at bedtime when the goal is Isaac falling asleep by himself. He said this last night as he flung his arms around my neck and tried to clasp me to him. It wasn't even like I was leaving the room -- I was just trying to get out of his bed so I could sit in the chair instead.
As an aside, at least it's finally comfortable for me to lie in his bed, because yesterday we dismantled his toddler bed and moved a double bed into his room. The bed used to be in the extra bedroom used by my brother Joel, but it has hardly been slept in since he moved out. (We still have two guest rooms, dear readers, including one with a queen bed, so hopefully our hospitality will not be impaired.)
However, back to the request that I be "nearby always." We are trying to gently communicate the concept that even when Isaac is alone in his room, we are always nearby. Whether he likes it or not, however, we are going to have to start leaving him alone to fall asleep, because he's becoming increasingly distracted when I am in the room. First he tries to talk to me, which can go on for 15 or 20 minutes.* When he finally realizes I'm not going to engage in conversation, he becomes emotional, which can go on for another 15 minutes. Recently he has ended up crying because I refused to get out of the chair to give him yet another hug. When he gets that upset he often wants me to leave his room, even saying "Mama leave!" rather bitterly. Then he cries in earnest until someone goes back in to calm him down.
Basically the entire system has broken down. Despite our best efforts, he clearly doesn't feel safe, or emotionally supported, or happy about sleep. On eight nights in the past two weeks it has taken him 45 minutes or more to fall asleep.
Is there hope for change? Well, for a two-week period in September 2007 he was happy to fall asleep with no one in the room with him, but it hasn't really happened since. We managed it then without ever leaving him to cry-it-out, so I hope we can ease our way into it again.
- - - - -
*What does he talk about when he's supposed to be falling asleep? It's not the charming spontaneous stream-of-consciousness stuff he used to say, unfortunately. Recently his subjects have been pretty cleverly selected to delay and distract: Daddy put my diaper on too tight. I think my diaper's twisted. I don't want to sleep in a yucky pee diaper. Help me take my pajama top off. These aren't the pajamas I meant to choose. I don't like it when it's this dark. What's that shadow? Do garbage trucks really burp? Do garbage trucks really have eyes? Hey, I'm asking you a question: do garbage trucks really burp?
Okay, maybe some of it is still charming.
- - - - -
I'm back to complaining about night time sleep because the naps are working out so well. In the past two weeks he's only missed one nap, and that might have been because he slept in until 8:20 that morning. So things aren't all bad.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Isaac delivers some news
Isaac talked to his Opa and Oma on the phone this evening. The very first thing he said to them was "We have a new baby." My parents, who have known this for a while, pretended to be surprised, and Isaac went right on to say, "He's a girl."
We don't actually have the new baby girl yet, but she is indeed on her way. I am just over 12 weeks pregnant, due in mid-January.
Today was the first time Isaac was told about it, officially speaking. But we've been talking about it behind his back for three months now, sometimes not so subtly, and I think he might have figured it out on his own. In fact, Craig and I were just getting ready to tell Isaac this afternoon when he brought it up himself. He said, "We could have a new baby at our house." He has often said things like, "We could give the bouncy seat to a new baby," but he usually means someone else's baby. This was the first time he has mentioned that the baby might actually be one that lives here with us.
We saw a window of opportunity, and Craig told him that yes, our family will have a new baby coming to live with us sometime after Christmas. Then Craig asked if we could give the baby Isaac's old crib. Isaac immediately said, "Yeah. And we can put it right here, next to Isaac's new bed!" We told him the baby would be a girl, his little sister. Then he wanted to continue reading books.
Based on his reaction I assumed that Isaac wasn't that impressed by what was, after all, fairly abstract news about a distant event. (Even I find it a little hard to imagine!) He obviously wasn't upset, but mostly he didn't seem to care. But after he so readily announced it to my parents, I've reconsidered that position. It's definitely on his mind.
I guess the next few days (and weeks and months and years) will give us all the opportunity to gauge his emotional reaction to gaining a sibling. Although, based on my own experience of having siblings, I imagine Isaac will have several reactions, probably opposing, and perhaps simultaneously.
We don't actually have the new baby girl yet, but she is indeed on her way. I am just over 12 weeks pregnant, due in mid-January.
Today was the first time Isaac was told about it, officially speaking. But we've been talking about it behind his back for three months now, sometimes not so subtly, and I think he might have figured it out on his own. In fact, Craig and I were just getting ready to tell Isaac this afternoon when he brought it up himself. He said, "We could have a new baby at our house." He has often said things like, "We could give the bouncy seat to a new baby," but he usually means someone else's baby. This was the first time he has mentioned that the baby might actually be one that lives here with us.
We saw a window of opportunity, and Craig told him that yes, our family will have a new baby coming to live with us sometime after Christmas. Then Craig asked if we could give the baby Isaac's old crib. Isaac immediately said, "Yeah. And we can put it right here, next to Isaac's new bed!" We told him the baby would be a girl, his little sister. Then he wanted to continue reading books.
Based on his reaction I assumed that Isaac wasn't that impressed by what was, after all, fairly abstract news about a distant event. (Even I find it a little hard to imagine!) He obviously wasn't upset, but mostly he didn't seem to care. But after he so readily announced it to my parents, I've reconsidered that position. It's definitely on his mind.
I guess the next few days (and weeks and months and years) will give us all the opportunity to gauge his emotional reaction to gaining a sibling. Although, based on my own experience of having siblings, I imagine Isaac will have several reactions, probably opposing, and perhaps simultaneously.
Mine and ours
"Isaac made a cobbler with my Oma!"
Isaac did enjoy making an apricot cobbler with my mother on Monday, but the unusual thing about this statement was his use of the word "my." I think it was the first time he claimed ownership of a person. As soon as he did it, I think he realized he really likes saying it that way, because now he's almost completely switched over. Previously he would have said, "Opa has a new tractor," but now he says, "My Opa has a new tractor."
It can sound a little funny when he's talking to one of us. "I want to snuggle in the big bed with my Mama," he'll tell Craig. Well, of course -- who else's mother could he mean? But he continues to practice his specificity. Sometimes he even says "my Mama Nicole," just to make it perfectly clear.
His cutest use of the possessive so far is when he hugs my belly and says he's hugging "my baby" or "my baby sister." Sometimes he generously includes the rest of us and says he's hugging "our baby." (He also says "our sister," which I haven't tried to clarify yet.)
Isaac did enjoy making an apricot cobbler with my mother on Monday, but the unusual thing about this statement was his use of the word "my." I think it was the first time he claimed ownership of a person. As soon as he did it, I think he realized he really likes saying it that way, because now he's almost completely switched over. Previously he would have said, "Opa has a new tractor," but now he says, "My Opa has a new tractor."
It can sound a little funny when he's talking to one of us. "I want to snuggle in the big bed with my Mama," he'll tell Craig. Well, of course -- who else's mother could he mean? But he continues to practice his specificity. Sometimes he even says "my Mama Nicole," just to make it perfectly clear.
His cutest use of the possessive so far is when he hugs my belly and says he's hugging "my baby" or "my baby sister." Sometimes he generously includes the rest of us and says he's hugging "our baby." (He also says "our sister," which I haven't tried to clarify yet.)
"Our" baby
Today after lunch Isaac and I were sharing a lounge chair in the shade at the edge of our lawn. He was in my lap, facing me, with his head resting on my shoulder. He was getting a little sleepy, so I jokingly asked him if he wanted to have his nap outside.
"Could we sleep out here all night, too?" he asked.
"Sure," I said. "We can stay out here all day and all night, just like this."
"Then after Christmas when our baby is born, we can come right back out here, just like this," he said.
"We might need to make room for our baby on the chair too," I said. "She'll need someone to hold her."
Isaac considered this for a moment. "My Daddy can hold the baby," he said.
Ah. "Our" only goes so far, I see.
"Could we sleep out here all night, too?" he asked.
"Sure," I said. "We can stay out here all day and all night, just like this."
"Then after Christmas when our baby is born, we can come right back out here, just like this," he said.
"We might need to make room for our baby on the chair too," I said. "She'll need someone to hold her."
Isaac considered this for a moment. "My Daddy can hold the baby," he said.
Ah. "Our" only goes so far, I see.
New pictures
I've finally gotten around to adding the last two months' worth of pictures to Isaac's latest album.Here he climbs (well, sits in) a very cool big tree. Isaac claimed it was a "tree train truck," however -- anything can be a vehicle if you try hard enough.
Friday, November 21, 2014
More birdwatching
Today as Isaac was looking out my bedroom window, he said, "There's a bird on the fence. But I don't know what kind."
I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, so I told him I couldn't see it.
"It looks like some kind of junco," he said. "Or maybe a chickadee."
When I was done brushing, I came out and took a look for myself. It was a black phoebe. And you know what? As far as the other birds that Isaac can identify, a junco was an excellent comparison for it.
- - - - -
a phoebe
a junco
- - - - -
See here for Isaac's earliest efforts at bird identification.
I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, so I told him I couldn't see it.
"It looks like some kind of junco," he said. "Or maybe a chickadee."
When I was done brushing, I came out and took a look for myself. It was a black phoebe. And you know what? As far as the other birds that Isaac can identify, a junco was an excellent comparison for it.
- - - - -
a phoebe
a junco- - - - -
See here for Isaac's earliest efforts at bird identification.
Antibiotics
Exactly two weeks after he had his last breast milk, Isaac had his first antibiotics. Coincidence?
Well, probably. He had been tapering off for months before that, and for two weeks before he stopped completely he was only nursing for one or two minutes a day. That's probably not enough to have any protective effect. I still wonder, though! But I'm also just plain grateful that he almost made it to three years of age before getting sick enough to need antibiotics.
The poor kid developed some kind of infection on his (as my father described it to my grandmother) private parts. It was very painful, although apparently not unusual or a big deal. Through the magic of antibiotics, which he has been taking for less than 48 hours, he says he feels nearly normal now.
It started on Sunday morning when we were out of town visiting my parents -- because no kid ever gets sick during regular office hours, right? Based on the phone advice of the on-call pediatrician at our usual office, we took Isaac to a local urgent care facility.
It went pretty smoothly, although Isaac cried hysterically during the actual examination. The doctor barely touched him during the exam, since it was so clear that it was painful, but I guess the anticipation of being hurt was pretty frightening.
As soon as I got Isaac's pants pulled back up, he turned to the doctor. "You can leave now," Isaac said firmly.
- - - - -
Isaac loves the antibiotic, which is strawberry flavored. I think it smells revolting, but I'm glad there's no problem getting him to take it. Since this is his first time taking prescription medication, this was also my first time using the Trixie Tracker feature that lets you schedule doses of medicine in advance. (We have often used the feature for tracking stand-alone doses of over-the-counter medicine, like Tylenol for teething pain or fever.)
It's pretty cool, like all of Trixie Tracker. I can see at a glance when the prescription started, when it will end, how long ago Isaac got his last dose, and in how many hours his next dose is due.
- - - - -
One benefit of the infection is that it has given us plenty of chances to discuss good hygiene. Germs are still pretty abstract, like anything you can't actually see, but at least Isaac now knows they can have a real (and painful) effect.
"Bacteria," Isaac said reflectively as he lay in bed on Sunday night. "Bacteria. What is front-teria?"
- - - - -
Last night my parents and I were discussing dessert. My mother asked, "Is it time for p-i-e yet?"
"What does that spell?" Isaac asked, apparently not having learned it last time.
I gestured toward the kitchen counter where the apple pie sat, and asked him, "What starts with the letter P?"
"Penis!" Isaac shouted.
Well, it has been on his mind a lot lately.
Well, probably. He had been tapering off for months before that, and for two weeks before he stopped completely he was only nursing for one or two minutes a day. That's probably not enough to have any protective effect. I still wonder, though! But I'm also just plain grateful that he almost made it to three years of age before getting sick enough to need antibiotics.
The poor kid developed some kind of infection on his (as my father described it to my grandmother) private parts. It was very painful, although apparently not unusual or a big deal. Through the magic of antibiotics, which he has been taking for less than 48 hours, he says he feels nearly normal now.
It started on Sunday morning when we were out of town visiting my parents -- because no kid ever gets sick during regular office hours, right? Based on the phone advice of the on-call pediatrician at our usual office, we took Isaac to a local urgent care facility.
It went pretty smoothly, although Isaac cried hysterically during the actual examination. The doctor barely touched him during the exam, since it was so clear that it was painful, but I guess the anticipation of being hurt was pretty frightening.
As soon as I got Isaac's pants pulled back up, he turned to the doctor. "You can leave now," Isaac said firmly.
- - - - -
Isaac loves the antibiotic, which is strawberry flavored. I think it smells revolting, but I'm glad there's no problem getting him to take it. Since this is his first time taking prescription medication, this was also my first time using the Trixie Tracker feature that lets you schedule doses of medicine in advance. (We have often used the feature for tracking stand-alone doses of over-the-counter medicine, like Tylenol for teething pain or fever.)
It's pretty cool, like all of Trixie Tracker. I can see at a glance when the prescription started, when it will end, how long ago Isaac got his last dose, and in how many hours his next dose is due.
- - - - -
One benefit of the infection is that it has given us plenty of chances to discuss good hygiene. Germs are still pretty abstract, like anything you can't actually see, but at least Isaac now knows they can have a real (and painful) effect.
"Bacteria," Isaac said reflectively as he lay in bed on Sunday night. "Bacteria. What is front-teria?"
- - - - -
Last night my parents and I were discussing dessert. My mother asked, "Is it time for p-i-e yet?"
"What does that spell?" Isaac asked, apparently not having learned it last time.
I gestured toward the kitchen counter where the apple pie sat, and asked him, "What starts with the letter P?"
"Penis!" Isaac shouted.
Well, it has been on his mind a lot lately.
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