I forgot to note that yet another side effect of the not-napping is the not-nursing.
This past Sunday was the first (and only, so far) day that Isaac didn't nurse at all. He had slept just eight and a half hours on Saturday night, and he didn't nap Sunday afternoon, so he was out-of-control with exhaustion by bedtime that night. Even though I asked him if he wanted milk, he chose to go straight to bed. (He was feeling contrary enough that I think he would have declined anything I offered, no matter how desirable.)
I guess if he can get too tired and wild to eat, he can also get too tired to nurse. This never would have happened in the past -- if he was exhausted he would have found nursing a pleasant comfort, although he might have fallen asleep as soon as he started -- but things are changing. He is almost weaned.
I like to think of it as child-led weaning, but that's not true, I guess, because although when Isaac was younger I truly did nurse him on demand, I eventually began to manipulate the relationship. He was encouraged to night-wean around the time he turned 20 months old, and at the same time we began nursing on a schedule: morning, nap, and bedtime. It was actually very easy to set a schedule. He was never one of those toddlers who demanded milk at inconvenient times, and I never had to deal with my shirt being yanked up in public. He was perfectly content to wait until we got home and the announcement that it was time for milk. (In fact, if I hadn't kept offering, I wonder if he would have weaned a lot sooner.)
He dropped the morning session on his own when he was 26 months old, and he also chose to let the naptime session fall by the wayside over this past month (along with the nap, unfortunately). So now we're left with nursing at bedtime, but there's not much to it. In fact, Trixie Tracker reports that at his current age of 33 months, Isaac's daily nursing average is 5.6 minutes; his seven-day average has been 4.1 minutes.
Actually, I'm in total denial if I think this was "child-led" weaning, because starting in late April I began purposefully shortening our two remaining nursing sessions. (I started by trying to keep the daily total under 20 minutes.) At first Isaac was disappointed, and the first few nights when I stopped him he said sadly, "But I wasn't done."
But now, two months later, he never complains when I stop him from nursing. And, increasingly, most times he stops all on his own.
- - - - -
He does still say, "Yummy milk, Mama."
Monday, November 24, 2014
Should I be worried?
"I would like to cut off your head with a saw so I can play with your hair all the time," Isaac said this morning, not for the first time.
Yikes. I sure wish he had adopted a comfort object that wasn't me.
Then later on he said he was going to put a lampshade on me (or just my head? I was scared to ask) so I would be his night-light, and he would keep me in his house, and he would read books with me.
At least he will be a literate psycho.
Yikes. I sure wish he had adopted a comfort object that wasn't me.
Then later on he said he was going to put a lampshade on me (or just my head? I was scared to ask) so I would be his night-light, and he would keep me in his house, and he would read books with me.
At least he will be a literate psycho.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
A small improvement
I don't want to jinx myself by saying we've got the nap thing all figured out, but there has been a small improvement. Previously I had never been able to get Isaac to nap without either (1) nursing him to sleep or (2) driving him in the car. Just putting him in his bed at naptime was a total joke -- no way was he going to fall asleep.
But the last three times I attempted to get him to nap in his own bed? It actually worked!
So what made the difference? Well, first, black-out curtains. (Or, to be more precise, an opaque blanket nailed over the window.) Second, lying down in the bed next to him until he fell asleep.
You don't have to tell me that this isn't ideal. For one, he sleeps in a toddler bed, and it's a mighty tight fit for the two of us. Also, I'd like to get myself (and my hair) out of the comfort object business. It was already bad that he insists I stay in his bedroom for 30 to 60 minutes while he falls asleep at night -- adding another 15 to 25 minutes of hanging around waiting for a small child to fall asleep is a drag.
But not as big of a drag as the not-napping!
But the last three times I attempted to get him to nap in his own bed? It actually worked!
So what made the difference? Well, first, black-out curtains. (Or, to be more precise, an opaque blanket nailed over the window.) Second, lying down in the bed next to him until he fell asleep.
You don't have to tell me that this isn't ideal. For one, he sleeps in a toddler bed, and it's a mighty tight fit for the two of us. Also, I'd like to get myself (and my hair) out of the comfort object business. It was already bad that he insists I stay in his bedroom for 30 to 60 minutes while he falls asleep at night -- adding another 15 to 25 minutes of hanging around waiting for a small child to fall asleep is a drag.
But not as big of a drag as the not-napping!
A small step back
I should have added a third point to the new and improved nap plan I detailed yesterday: ensure that child has visited the bathroom before lying down for the nap. I just dedicated half an hour to lying next to Isaac listening hopefully to his sleepy babbling and yawning only to realize it was all ruined when I heard his sudden announcement of "I need to poop."
(He sometimes wears a diaper during naptime, but he doesn't use it.)
After spending 15 minutes in the bathroom, it's unlikely he'll be able to get back to his previous sleepy state. Better luck tomorrow!
- - - - -
Edited to add:
I was wrong! It took another 30 minutes, but he was willing to lay there and give it a try, and now he's asleep!
(He sometimes wears a diaper during naptime, but he doesn't use it.)
After spending 15 minutes in the bathroom, it's unlikely he'll be able to get back to his previous sleepy state. Better luck tomorrow!
- - - - -
Edited to add:
I was wrong! It took another 30 minutes, but he was willing to lay there and give it a try, and now he's asleep!
Fish and chips
Thanks to a dinner of greasy fish and chips, I had a stomach ache tonight. As I was moaning and groaning about my gas pains, Isaac asked, "Will you still be able to take care of your child?"
He didn't seem concerned -- just curious. Naturally I assured him that nothing would prevent me from taking care of him.
This isn't the first time he has remarked on his own need for care, though. Sometimes when I just announce I'm leaving the room for a moment, he asks, "Who will keep an eye on Isaac?" Again, he doesn't seem worried -- he just wants to know what the situation will be.
He's not insecure or nervous about it. But is it normal for an almost-three-year-old to be so aware that adults are always watching out for him?
He didn't seem concerned -- just curious. Naturally I assured him that nothing would prevent me from taking care of him.
This isn't the first time he has remarked on his own need for care, though. Sometimes when I just announce I'm leaving the room for a moment, he asks, "Who will keep an eye on Isaac?" Again, he doesn't seem worried -- he just wants to know what the situation will be.
He's not insecure or nervous about it. But is it normal for an almost-three-year-old to be so aware that adults are always watching out for him?
The three Rs
Don't get too excited -- Isaac isn't actually reading, writing, or doing arithmetic yet!
Reading
It turns out that Isaac can spell his name aloud. The first time I heard him do it, he sung it to the tune of "B-I-N-G-O," something he has heard us do before, so he had clearly memorized it. But he can also do it without singing, and as he has been able to recognize the individual letters for a while now, all he has to do is put those two pieces of information together to actually read his name. How exciting!
Writing
For a long time, Isaac preferred writing to drawing. For example, he got a John Deere tractor coloring book at a friend's birthday party in December, and he insisted on calling it his "writing book." (I'm happy he has finally expanded into art.) It was pretend writing, of course, as he never wrote anything that resembled an actual letter except for I and O (which he would be sure to point out). Lately he has been pretending to write checks, driving directions, and construction plans. He is a very practical-minded writer.
(Even though he doesn't pretend to be a creative writer himself, he does understand that books are written by people. When we read a new book, he wants to know who the author is.)
Arithmetic
He's working on counting to 20, which is also done strictly by memorization and recitation. If he's counting actual objects, he can only count accurately to three -- if there are more objects than that, he loses track of the ones he's already counted and doubles back to count them again until he reaches five. When he's reciting numbers he can get to ten accurately, but usually misses one or two of the teens. The number 20 is often called "twenty-teen." And after that comes "twenty-teen one," so he does understand how to build numbers.
Reading
It turns out that Isaac can spell his name aloud. The first time I heard him do it, he sung it to the tune of "B-I-N-G-O," something he has heard us do before, so he had clearly memorized it. But he can also do it without singing, and as he has been able to recognize the individual letters for a while now, all he has to do is put those two pieces of information together to actually read his name. How exciting!
Writing
For a long time, Isaac preferred writing to drawing. For example, he got a John Deere tractor coloring book at a friend's birthday party in December, and he insisted on calling it his "writing book." (I'm happy he has finally expanded into art.) It was pretend writing, of course, as he never wrote anything that resembled an actual letter except for I and O (which he would be sure to point out). Lately he has been pretending to write checks, driving directions, and construction plans. He is a very practical-minded writer.
(Even though he doesn't pretend to be a creative writer himself, he does understand that books are written by people. When we read a new book, he wants to know who the author is.)
Arithmetic
He's working on counting to 20, which is also done strictly by memorization and recitation. If he's counting actual objects, he can only count accurately to three -- if there are more objects than that, he loses track of the ones he's already counted and doubles back to count them again until he reaches five. When he's reciting numbers he can get to ten accurately, but usually misses one or two of the teens. The number 20 is often called "twenty-teen." And after that comes "twenty-teen one," so he does understand how to build numbers.
Vacation
Isaac and I aren't going anywhere this summer. Craig, however, just spent two weeks working in Europe -- the first week in Amsterdam and the second in a fishing village in Portugal. We originally considered making it a family trip (last summer we flew three places -- New Mexico, Minnesota, and Montana) but with the extraordinary rise in the cost of airfare, it just didn't seem possible.
Actually, Isaac and I did go somewhere while Craig was in Europe. We drove to my parents' house, about 100 miles away, on two separate occasions. (After the first four nights we had to go back to our own home for a few days to take care of some business, but we returned as soon as we could.) Out of the 13 days Craig was gone, Isaac and I spent 11 days with my folks, only sleeping in our own beds three nights. Now that's a vacation!
I'm not kidding, either. A friend of mine, when I told her my plans, wondered how long I would be able to "stand" staying with my parents. I told her that wasn't a concern at all. My parents are always a pleasure to visit, friendly but undemanding, and they strike the perfect balance between socializing with me and being involved with their own projects. I'm not sure how long they would have agreed to put up with just me (I was a pretty lazy houseguest, seldom helping with meals or doing dishes, although I did buy some groceries and wash our bedding) but I came as a package deal with the real reward -- Isaac.
And my parents and Isaac really enjoyed each other. Isaac didn't even want to come back home! Opa and Oma read books to Isaac, invented crazy new games with him (anyone for Hide the Mallet?), and took him on long walks around the property to visit the tractors and the pond. We were there long enough for Isaac to get very comfortable with both of them as caregivers, and for all of us to develop new routines and habits as a family, and it made me realize that with small children, quantity time can be as important as quality time.
- - - - -
That's one of the things that makes me glad I'm able to stay at home with Isaac -- nothing says "I love you" like a hundred thousand instances of just being there, whether to pour a cup of milk or share a joke or give a hug. I guess as he gets older it will be increasingly important to make sure that we also do special and significant activities together, but sometimes all Isaac wants is to snuggle in the big bed and pretend to be foxes. (Jeez, I'm sounding a lot more sentimental than usual!)
- - - - -
Unfortunately we don't get to see Craig's parents very often, since they live on the opposite coast, and I feel bad that Isaac is missing out. But we talk about Grandpa and Grandma, and we look at pictures, which I guess is the best we can do right now.
Actually, Isaac and I did go somewhere while Craig was in Europe. We drove to my parents' house, about 100 miles away, on two separate occasions. (After the first four nights we had to go back to our own home for a few days to take care of some business, but we returned as soon as we could.) Out of the 13 days Craig was gone, Isaac and I spent 11 days with my folks, only sleeping in our own beds three nights. Now that's a vacation!
I'm not kidding, either. A friend of mine, when I told her my plans, wondered how long I would be able to "stand" staying with my parents. I told her that wasn't a concern at all. My parents are always a pleasure to visit, friendly but undemanding, and they strike the perfect balance between socializing with me and being involved with their own projects. I'm not sure how long they would have agreed to put up with just me (I was a pretty lazy houseguest, seldom helping with meals or doing dishes, although I did buy some groceries and wash our bedding) but I came as a package deal with the real reward -- Isaac.
And my parents and Isaac really enjoyed each other. Isaac didn't even want to come back home! Opa and Oma read books to Isaac, invented crazy new games with him (anyone for Hide the Mallet?), and took him on long walks around the property to visit the tractors and the pond. We were there long enough for Isaac to get very comfortable with both of them as caregivers, and for all of us to develop new routines and habits as a family, and it made me realize that with small children, quantity time can be as important as quality time.
- - - - -
That's one of the things that makes me glad I'm able to stay at home with Isaac -- nothing says "I love you" like a hundred thousand instances of just being there, whether to pour a cup of milk or share a joke or give a hug. I guess as he gets older it will be increasingly important to make sure that we also do special and significant activities together, but sometimes all Isaac wants is to snuggle in the big bed and pretend to be foxes. (Jeez, I'm sounding a lot more sentimental than usual!)
- - - - -
Unfortunately we don't get to see Craig's parents very often, since they live on the opposite coast, and I feel bad that Isaac is missing out. But we talk about Grandpa and Grandma, and we look at pictures, which I guess is the best we can do right now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)