Terrible Twos

Isaac is two and one-third years old, and while he's still an agreeable child overall, he's more "terrible" than ever before.

Happily, Isaac has yet to throw a classic tantrum -- the incoherent, furious, inconsolable type. His protests are more verbal, whiny, and easily defused. He usually doesn't have the courage of his convictions. It's more like he feels compelled to answer "no" to every option offered, even those he truly wants to answer with a "yes "(like asking him if he wants to play outside or have a snack). Usually after a bit of parenting jujitsu the problem is resolved with little or no struggle at all. Everyone saves face and gets what they really wanted in the first place.

But sometimes a tantrum erupts anyway. Earlier this week he had a minor fit because I had given him the wrong color spoon with his yogurt. (I usually never even give him a choice, because he simply doesn't care about stuff like this -- so I gave him the right spoon, and all was well.) And today he fell to the floor in a heap, absolutely limp and boneless, because I was trying to remove his diaper so he could sit on the toilet. (He eventually did sit on the toilet after I bribed him* -- he resists getting onto the toilet, but once he is there, he isn't upset in the slightest.)

And speaking of resistance quickly forgotten, I mentioned back in November that he had refused to get into the bathtub. Bath-time has gotten easier, although it continues to be a point of contention. He wails, he goes limp, and he absolutely refuses to sit down in the bathwater. But as soon as he is standing in the tub, he is relatively happy -- he doesn't even mind having his face and hair washed. And then he doesn't want to get out! We always try pointing this out to him, but logic doesn't work very well with a two-year-old.

But his most irritating manifestation of independence is walking in our flower beds. I know he knows that I hate it, which is why he does it so regularly -- and so gleefully. He usually starts doing it when I'm not paying enough attention to him, like if I've been pruning or playing with the dog, but sometimes he continues even after I've turned my sole focus to him. Sometimes he just stands in the dirt, and sometimes he tramples plants on purpose. It's easier (and, frankly, less damaging) for him to walk in the flower beds this time of year because a lot of plants are dormant or cut back, so there's room for him to stomp about. But I feel very strongly about protecting my garden -- although I certainly don't want to force any more showdowns.

What I've been doing is (1) saying that it makes me sad when he hurts the plants, (2) pointing out the parts of plants that could be injured (like the buds on the primroses, which he thinks are really cool), and (3) carrying him back inside if he continues his trampling. This is frustrating because it often takes an hour to convince him to go outside in the first place, and he needs to play outside to work off some energy. Maybe we should go to a park instead. But then I would never get my garden pruned! I need a chance to play outside, too.

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*Yes, I agree that bribing is bad, especially when toilet training. What I tell myself is that I'm only bribing him to get over his reluctance to sit on the toilet. He gets his reward whether or not he "performs." For instance, he can have a piece of candy any time he wants -- all he has to do is sit on the toilet. But he hardly ever takes me up on it, and most of the time when he does sit on the toilet, he forgets to ask for the candy. But today's bribe was impromptu and very effective -- I told him that if he sat on the toilet, I would put his new pajama bottoms back on him instead of his pants. He immediately stopped wailing and sat on the toilet.

And then he didn't want to get down again -- just like with the bath.

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Not only did he wear those pajamas all day today, but he wore them all day yesterday, too. I guess this is another way in which Isaac is becoming more independent -- he never expressed any opinions on clothing before, or wanted to pick out his own outfits. But these pajamas have tractors all over them, and he loves them. (Thanks, Grandma and Grandpa!)