Mohawk

Earlier this summer we were driving in the car when Isaac spotted some teenagers walking on the sidewalk. One of them was wearing her hair in an impressive old-school Mohawk, probably more than a foot high.

"Did you see that girl's hair?" Isaac asked in pleased wonderment. "It looked just like a peacock!"

This made me happy. We live in a pretty straitlaced community, and although Isaac has seen a few alternative haircuts on his parents' friends and relatives*, he is much more likely to encounter suburban moms with tastefully straightened and highlighted locks. I was glad to see that this, his first true Mohawk, inspired appreciation rather than scorn.

I am afraid that this open-minded attitude toward personal style doesn't flourish in the affluent suburbs. It reminded me of a conversation I had with the mother of one of Isaac's friends.

A little background: the only male teacher at Isaac's school is a young jam-band hippie named Joey. He is easy-going and sweet, and beloved by the kids. For a year or so he wore his long hair in a ponytail and had a well-kept beard, but recently he cut his hair and shaved his beard. After this happened, the mother of one of Isaac's friends said to me, "I was so glad to see Joey cut his hair. He was starting to scare the children."

Without hesitation I told her I disagreed. I said I thought one of the biggest flaws of our community was its homogeneity, and I welcomed diversity of all sorts, including personal style. I said I thought it was very good for the children to see people who looked different from themselves and their families.

(Plus I don't think Joey ever scared anybody.)

Decoding personal style is tricky, and it can take years to get it right; Isaac didn't know what the Mohawk signified, only that he thought it looked interesting. However, Isaac is completely aware that there are societal expectations of dress based on things like gender and occasion (for example, females wear skirts; at dinner parties we wear nice clothes), but happily he isn't judgmental when people don't meet these expectations. I suppose this will change as he himself is subjected to other people's judgment. The other day he wore his usual mismatched pink and yellow socks, and he seemed a little embarrassed when a friend's mother (a different one!) teased him about it.

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* And what about the haircuts of Isaac's parents themselves? Not that alternative, although not typically suburban either. Craig has worn a crewcut for the 13 years I have known him, and I currently have a pixie cut.