Sisters

Although it has already been three months since Isaac began to express doubt over the benefits of having a new sister, it was just a few weeks ago that he finally got around to making the classic older-sibling pronouncement. Yes, he said, "I wish Laurel was dead."

He didn't say it threateningly or with malice, so I didn't make a big deal about it. At four years old it's not like he comprehends what "dead" means, anyway. So far he has said it four times, and each time I've taken a different approach. I have commiserated with him about the inconvenience of babies; said mildly that I would miss Laurel if she were gone; and said "Oh, yes?" and changed the subject.

One time I told him that in our family we don't say things that might hurt people's feelings, but as no feelings were actually hurt, I didn't hammer home the point. (I am much more corrective when he says that Laurel is stupid because she doesn't know how to do things yet.)

The one thing I haven't had to do is ask why he wishes Laurel were dead. He has always freely elaborated on his reasons: without Laurel around, there would be more time for the grown-ups to play with him. (His other solution to this problem, interestingly, is to have more adults in the family rather than fewer children. Yes, he advocates polygamy. Or maybe communal living.)

I understand his feelings -- after all, I also have a younger sister. My sister is four years younger than me, which is fairly similar to the three year and four month age gap between Isaac and Laurel. And that is why I can tell Isaac with confidence that someday soon, he will be mostly glad to have a sister. Mostly!

But someday in the distant future, he will be very glad.

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Today is my sister's birthday. Happy birthday, Erica! I am very glad you're my sister.