Parent-teacher conference II

Back at the start of the school year I met with Isaac's teacher Jennifer, although at that point the parent-teacher conference was for me to tell her about Isaac. Now that the school year is coming to an end, Craig and I met with Jennifer again, and this time Jennifer told us about Isaac.

This makes me stop and consider the possibility that Isaac may be reaching the age where he deserves some privacy. It's bad enough that I publicly write about my own child's strengths and weaknesses, but it seems especially invasive to write about another adult's opinion of his strengths and weaknesses. After all, there's a reason why parent-teacher conferences are held in private.

I'll probably stop blogging about Isaac's personal life before he's old enough to understand what I'm doing. If when he's older he wants to have his secrets revealed to hundreds of anonymous online readers, he'll have to do it himself, probably using whatever version of Facebook the year 2020 provides. Probably teenagers of the future will have no sense of privacy anyway.

I don't think Isaac needs privacy yet. He's certainly too young to feel embarassment now, and I don't think what I'm writing will be embarassing to him in the future either. A small child is still purely and perfectly himself in every way, and therefore should feel no shame at having the details of his life revealed by his doting mother. A small child has no genuine weaknesses, only the misplaced expectations or misunderstandings of adults. How's that for an excuse for me to continue blogging?

And so, in a nutshell, Jennifer said Isaac was wise, independent, and confident. She really seems to enjoy him as a student and as a person, which made us feel good.

She remarked that one of Isaac's greatest developments was the lessening of his attachment to her. He had been clingy and dependent upon her at first, often following her around all day, and needing her help to transition between activities. However, in the last two months he has been able to play happily and comfortably on his own.* He still likes her, but he doesn't need her.

We got a little checklist telling us whether or not Isaac had various skills -- not quite a report card, because there were no grades, but Jennifer filled it out with either a "plus sign" (strongly true), a "checkmark" (true), or a "w" (a developing skill the child is still working on). (I'll point out right here that Isaac did not get a single "w.")

As far as Isaac's greatest strengths, they should come as no surprise to regular readers of this blog. On the checklist Jennifer put plus signs next to all the skills under the headings of "cognitive development" (good attention span, ability to focus, ability to follow through with a task, can rephrase ideas, etc.) and "expressive language" (complete sentences, vocabulary, articulation, shares ideas, expresses feelings, receptive language, etc.). In addition, she pointed out that he "enjoys and values reading," including looking at books on his own. Like I said, my regular readers already know that.

While Isaac didn't get any plus signs on the checklist under the heading of "emotional development," every skill was checked off, so there wasn't anything he specifically needed to improve. (He initiates his own activities, sticks with an activity for a while, shows satisfaction in task, uses a variety of problem-solving strategies, asks for assistance, etc.) She did note that he isn't easily frustrated by obstacles, and that "he is able to speak up and ask for what he wants." I hope he's polite about it.

The remaining heading was "social development," and perhaps it doesn't come as a surprise that there were no plus signs there either. However, there were no problems either. Isaac is "able to take turns and share," and he "enters easily into activities." He does not yet, however, "demonstrate cooperative play." So one of Jennifer's final conclusions is that one of Isaac's "areas to concentrate on" (is that preschool-teacher code for "weakness"?) is "working and playing cooperatively with another child -- making a friend."

I guess I agree with her. I mean, he doesn't seem lonely yet, but he will need friends his own age soon. Perhaps he'll discover that it's actually more fun to play with other kids than by himself or with distracted adults. And then I'll miss him.

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As far as Isaac's "areas of particular interest," Jennifer put checkmarks next to the following: the sandbox and playdough, art, music and singing, puzzles, and science. He also likes snack (who doesn't?) and helping the teachers clean up. "Blocks and building" was the only activity to get a plus sign, which must mean he really likes it.

But it is just as interesting to note the choices that remained unchecked. The omission of "dramatic play," for example, strikes me as strange, because is one of his biggest favorites at home. The kid is always pretending to be someone, whether it's a construction worker, a park ranger, or a pirate. And no "wheeled vehicles"? I mean, I knew vehicles were falling out of favor, but the fact that he doesn't play with them at school really drives the point home.

Isaac even told me recently that Loader Driver no longer drives a loader. Now he's a maintenance worker, no doubt changing light bulbs and repairing snowblowers.

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* This is true at home as well -- a few months before Laurel's birth Isaac was at his most dependent and demanding, but this reversed itself almost immediately after Laurel was born. Wouldn't you have expected the opposite to happen?