Separation

Isaac and Craig left for Yosemite yesterday afternoon, where they're attending their annual church retreat. I went with them last year, but this year we thought camping in the cold and rain wouldn't be very good for Laurel. So she and I stayed home.

This makes last night notable for two reasons:

(1) It was the first night since Laurel's birth that I have been the only adult in the house. (Craig has gone on one overnight trip since Laurel's birth -- to give a presentation to the United States Secretary of Energy -- but I took the kids to my parents' house.)

(2) It was the first night that Isaac and I have spent apart.

Yes, this is our very first separation! So far, according to phone reports from Craig, Isaac is doing just fine without me. I'm not surprised. Right before they left I was telling Isaac how much I was going to miss him, and he said patiently, "Mama, that's just the way it is."

It feels very strange to have him gone, and I miss him a lot. It makes me consider how difficult it must be for Craig, who because of work travel has been separated from Isaac on many occasions, usually for a week or longer. I wonder if I would miss Isaac less if I was the one who had gone away. Right now I am constantly reminded of Isaac because I am staying here in our usual environment and doing our usual activities. The house is a lot less pleasant without him -- except that when I put something away, it stays put away.

- - - - -

It turns out it's not that hard being the only adult at home when you only have to take care of one baby! Although, strangely, Laurel's sleep has taken a sudden turn for the worse. Do you think she misses her big brother? It took me four tries to get her to stay asleep last night, and she's been having a hard time settling down into a nap this afternoon.

"Turn for the worse" also because once she finally did fall asleep last night, she only slept for seven hours. But after she woke up at 6:30 a.m. and nursed, she did go back to sleep for another two hours. I can't complain.