Sibling playtime

I haven't written much about the interaction between Isaac and Laurel. They have always gotten along very well; for the past few months their main problem has been Isaac restraining Laurel by hugging her too hard, in part because he is very affectionate and in part because he enjoys seeing her shriek as she tries to get loose.

Anyway, over the last week Isaac has been truly playing with Laurel. This requires great compromise and accommodation on his part, because she doesn't really know how to play with someone yet. Despite their three-and-a-half year age difference, he has invented several games they can play together -- without me! One game is called "collection," where they push a doll stroller around the room and fill it with stuff they find lying around. Today he gave her a bucket that he had filled with what he knew would be her favorite items: a doll, a cup, and a stuffed dog. Another game is called "explorer," which is similar to follow-the-leader except that Laurel doesn't understand she is sometimes supposed to follow Isaac. But he is willing to change the rules as the circumstances demand; in fact, I hear him talking to her about it, saying things like, "Oh, you want me to follow you? Okay, we'll crawl down the hall!" He really tries to find a way to stay engaged with her.

In addition to being generous and patient while inventing games and then relinquishing control over them, Isaac has been generous with his playthings, and he hands most of his things over as soon as Laurel expresses an interest. This is a new development, and not one I expect to last!

So while I was tucking Isaac into bed tonight, I told him how happy I was to see them playing together lately.

He had also noticed the change. In fact, he mentioned a conversation we had had when Laurel was quite small, when he had been disappointed that the new baby wasn't much of a playmate: "Remember when I wished we had two big kids instead of a big kid and a baby? Well, now I'm glad we have a baby! I wouldn't even mind if we had another baby. Laurel and I could teach the new baby the rules of our games."

Then he said, "I love her so much."

And as if that wasn't enough, after that he said, "My favorite person in the world to play with is you, and Dad, and Laurel."

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For most of Laurel's life, Isaac used me as an intermediary when it came to sibling communication. Now he talks directly to her, even when I'm not in the room, and he seems to be satisfied with the responses he gets. He adapts his language for her -- not baby talk, but slower and simplified -- and he asks her questions she loves to answer, like "Where are the owls?" (Her answer: "Out!")

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And does Laurel like to play with Isaac? Oh yes! For short periods of time, anyway, and then she wants to move on to something else. She is only 16 months old, after all.