Birth advice

I've been thinking about childbirth lately. Two women in our playgroup are pregnant, as is one of my cousins (whom I was excited to learn is planning a homebirth). Although nobody has asked for my advice, I am going to give it anyway -- what else is a blog for?

I'm not a birth professional by any means, so I'm not qualified to give real advice even though Isaac's birth was an amazing and positive experience. (You may recall my self-indulgent five-part birth story -- peaceful labor at home with my family and a doula until the very last hour, followed by a natural birth at the hospital.) Some of my friends and acquaintances have commented that this must have been an "easy birth" or a "fast birth," neither of which is true. On the other hand, maybe "easy" is relative -- I've heard people say things about childbirth that genuinely shocked me, like that they were ready to kill themselves because of the pain after just a few hours of labor. It's surprising that human experience can differ so widely.

So, offering the disclaimer that I attribute a great deal of my positive experience to luck, and noting that I am uncomfortable claiming that my advice would work for anyone else, here's what I would say if I were going to give myself advice for next time:

• do your homework beforehand -- for me this was three-part: (1) educating myself about the pros and cons of various childbirth practices, (2) surrounding myself with positive stories of natural births, and (3) researching and practicing mental and physical strategies for labor
  
• labor with a doula -- she was calm, objective, and experienced, and her support was absolutely essential to my confidence and focus; without her, we would have lost our nerve and gone to the hospital a lot sooner
• stay upright and moving (as long as possible) -- this can prevent labor from stalling, and it was easy for me at home since I could do what came naturally, but it can be a problem in a medical setting -- in fact, as soon as I got to the hospital I was hooked up to the fetal monitor and blood pressure cuff, and thus stuck flat on my back in bed
• let your labor progress naturally (as long as possible) -- labor has a biochemical rhythm, a natural call and response, and I believe that the artificial introduction of chemicals -- such as those used to induce contractions or reduce sensation -- can throw off your body's natural ability to progress in labor as well as handle pain. For me, labor was like a dance -- the contractions increased gradually, and my own hormones responded in kind, so we remained synchronized, working together every step of the way
  
• be mindful of the pain -- I found that if I didn't fight, resist, or try to ignore the pain, I could work with it and let it pass right through me -- it was exhausting to remain that conscious, to be mindful of every single contraction for more than 12 hours, but the doula helped me use deep breaths and low moaning exhalations to stay focused and relaxed. I'm just as big a wimp as anyone when it comes to pain, but I never even thought of wanting an epidural at any point during my labor.

And, since it's Thanksgiving season, I'll throw in another piece of advice for myself: be thankful. Be thankful that you had a positive experience, that your wish for a natural birth came true, and most of all that you had a healthy baby.