A recurring topic at my New Parents' group is birth stories. I've been going to this group long enough that the topic has come around several times, so the group leader knows my story well. In fact, the most recent time that birth stories was the topic, the group leader suggested that I go last. She explained to the group that I had had a remarkably positive birth experience, and she didn't want it to put a damper on anyone who wanted to express negative emotions. (With parenting you can often feel compelled to put on a false happy face.)
A newcomer to the group spoke up: "Oh, I had a really positive experience too!" I smiled at her across the circle and looked forward to hearing her story. I would estimate that 90 % of the people I've met recently didn't have natural births (a large majority of those had an induction or a C-section), so I assumed I was going to hear the story of someone else who was lucky enough to have success with a natural birth.
But my assumptions were wrong, and her story made me sad. This woman had had an epidural very early so she was completely numb throughout labor, and she was so detached from the physical experience that she had to be told when to push, as she felt no natural urge. Since she found the whole thing embarassing, she sent her husband out of the room so he missed seeing his daughter born. Finally, she was so out-of-it that when they set her daughter on her chest, she was surprised and scared -- she said, "I kind of wondered where she had come from." It took her several days to accept motherhood and to bond with her daughter. This was a positive experience? Some things are worse than a few hours of physical pain.
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