Behavior change

He spits. He scratches. He pours drinks on the floor. He refuses to do most things he's asked to do -- he runs away when it's time to sit on the toilet, and after you've forced him to do that, he throws the soap instead of washing his hands. He walks an unpleasant line between clingy and defiant. And when he doesn't get exactly what he wants, he whines and shrieks and says, "I'm not having a very fun day!"

Yeah, me neither.

This isn't the first time I've remarked on a behavior change of Isaac's. That's one great benefit of blogging: it keeps me honest. For some reason it's easy for me to have such a limited perspective on Isaac that I only remembered his pleasant behavior of the summer, and I couldn't believe that he had ever been difficult. But a quick blog search makes me face the fact that I was also tearing my hair out back in August 2007 and then again after the time change in November 2007.

I am not sure what's going on with him now -- whether this is developmental, sleep-related, or the emergence of a whole new personality -- but it pretty much sucks. Isaac isn't happy, and neither are we. And he is getting old enough that he's going to require real "discipline," not just distraction and redirection, but we haven't quite decided how to deal with these unacceptable behaviors (other than recognizing that it will require more patience). We need a plan. He is still a very little boy, which I do need to remember. He just seems so mature and smart, so articulate and comprehending, that I forget that just explaining the rules isn't enough.

And he hates to hear that he's done the wrong thing, which is probably true of all of us. It can even make him so uncomfortable that it drives him to further misbehavior! This was made clear one evening this week after dinner when Craig and I were talking together at the dining table while Isaac played happily nearby. Isaac got too close to some wood paneling with a piece of metal mop handle, so I told him I was afraid he was going to scrape the wall and that he should play elsewhere. Isaac obliged by lining up all his crayons on the floor and rolling them with the flat of his hand, so Craig told him he was afraid he was going to color on the floor and that he should play elsewhere.

So Isaac picked up a handful of crayons and threw them angrily. Luckily I had noticed the shadow cross his face, so I knew that this misbehavior was a direct result of our comments -- he felt frustrated and over-corrected. And you know what? He was right about that.

- - - - -

Strangely, he mostly misbehaves at home. I've yet to see a supermarket tantrum, a toy store meltdown, or a weeping refusal to leave the park. So I guess I shouldn't be afraid that he's gotten a whole new unpleasant personality.

- - - - -

Edited to add: That last little story about the crayons? I think it might have been a bad example, and I hope you don't think that's the kind of misbehavior I'm complaining about. Throwing crayons is nothing. The story was supposed to be an example of correction causing mental distress and thus misbehavior.