Birth comparison

Let's compare Isaac and Laurel's births:

If you had to describe your labor in a single word, what would it be?
Isaac: empowering
Laurel: humbling

Any additional words?
Isaac: peaceful, controlled, hypnotic, focused, confident
Laurel: intense, overwhelming, vivid, shocking, uncertain

How long did the easy "pre-labor" last?
Isaac: 12 hours
Laurel: 6 hours

How long did active labor last?
Isaac: 12 hours
Laurel: 2 hours, 15 minutes

How long did the delivery take?
Isaac: 30 minutes (once the doctor arrived), or about seven contractions
Laurel: 10 minutes, or about three contractions

What were the best parts of labor and delivery?
Isaac: the labor itself -- being able to "tame" the contractions through intense concentration; feeling in control of being out of control; being able to completely focus and completely relax and be present in the moment
Laurel: the delivery itself -- having a midwife who suggested a side-lying position for delivery, which slowed down a rapid birth, and who helped me avoid any tearing; following her gentle guidance to "breathe" the baby out using the force of the contractions themselves, with minimal voluntary pushing on my part; feeling healthy, energetic, and undamaged the very next day

What were the worst parts of labor and delivery?
Isaac: the delivery itself -- having to drive to the hospital at the last minute, and then wait for the OB to show up; being directed to lie on my back and push forcefully and unnaturally according to the OB's instructions; feeling sore, exhausted, and damaged for weeks after the birth
Laurel: the labor itself -- I felt on the brink of losing control, and I was constantly full of doubt, wondering what I should be doing to deal with the contractions, which kept ratcheting up a level before I was ready for it; despite my attempts to prepare myself to be flexible and ready for anything, it turned out that I expected to feel a sense of confident mastery again, so I was nearly traumatized by my uncertainty and the negative things I found myself saying (including, at the very end, "I don't think I can do this" and "Help me!")

Any metaphors for the birth?
Isaac: I was sailing a small sturdy boat floating in a warm peaceful sea during a pitch-black night -- punctuated by a series of truly enormous waves, yes, but even in the dark I could navigate by instinct, my boat was capable of cresting each wave, and I wasn't going to sink as long as I kept alert (I wrote this previously)
Laurel: I was lying on my belly on an inner tube fastened by a rope to a speedboat with an unpredictable driver -- sometimes I managed to guess the direction in which the boat would take off, and I could briefly raise myself out of the water, but mostly I was jerked about with no warning, so I just held on tight as I was repeatedly hit in the face by the waves

Gosh, did the two births have anything in common?
Well, really they were very similar -- except Laurel's happened six times as fast, so I never got a handle on it! Both were natural, intervention-free, vaginal births that were conducted mainly at home (although only Laurel was actually born at home). In neither case did pain relief cross my mind as an option. In both cases I was very comfortable and grateful to be at home. In both cases I trusted the process of birth, and I wasn't afraid of a bad outcome for either myself or the baby. In both cases there were small complications -- for Isaac, a moderate amount of meconium in the amniotic fluid (it didn't need to be suctioned); for Laurel, a tight umbilical cord around the neck (it needed to be cut prior to delivery). In both cases my labor wasn't timed too precisely or monitored via physical examination. And in both cases my labor attendant (the doula with Isaac's birth, the midwife's assistant with Laurel's) had no idea my labor had progressed so far, and was taken completely by surprise when it turned out I was about to actually deliver the baby! And, thankfully, both births resulted in a healthy baby.

What did you say once the baby was put in your arms?
Isaac: "I could totally do that again!"
Laurel: "Thank God that's over!"