Stay-at-home-alone mother

Are you wondering how yesterday went? Come on, you haven't forgotten, have you? Yesterday was Craig's first full day back at work -- and therefore my first full day home alone with two kids!

When Isaac was five weeks old, Craig went back to work, and I was petrified at the idea of being left home alone. (I even begged my sister to come stay with us for a few days, although it didn't work out.) But now I don't quite remember what I was so worried about. Was I scared by being the one who was solely responsible for keeping Isaac alive? Did I think I would get lonely with only an infant for company? Or maybe I just thought I would need help with the exhausting holding and bouncing and sling-wearing that it took to get Isaac to nap?

Despite my worries, I rapidly adjusted to my new lifestyle as a stay-at-home-alone mother. Isaac wasn't as fragile as I had feared, and he turned out to be good company (plus I joined a playgroup where I could talk to other new mothers). And his napping? Well, we eventually developed a routine where I would nurse him to sleep and hold him in my lap as he napped. (It was better than wearing him in the sling for hours, especially with my laptop nearby.)

Now, looking back at it, I find my worries laughable. Only one kid? What could have been easier? Right now my major problem with parenting is that I am tired. When I only had one kid, I could have napped whenever he did! What bliss! (Uh, except that I couldn't set him down while he was sleeping. But if I'd tried harder, I bet I could have worked something out with him sleeping next to me.)

Is my lack of napping really my main problem with parenting? Right now, yes. All I want is a nap. Several naps.

But enough looking into the past. How was yesterday? And how is today? Well, I didn't get my nap yesterday, and today's not looking so good either. Isaac has to re-learn how to nap without his father's assistance, and so far he is not doing well. But besides the lack of naps for both of us, everything went fine. I managed to balance the needs of two children with relative ease*, and without resentment from either child. Maybe it will get harder as the novelty of having a sister wears off for Isaac, or when Laurel stops sleeping so much and wants some attention, or when Isaac becomes increasingly unpleasant from his lack of napping, or when I become increasingly unpleasant from my lack of napping. Or maybe we will simply all enjoy each others' company.

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*Now I just need to figure out how to balance the needs of three people -- the third being myself. That is possible, right? Right?