The falling asleep process

I didn't say anything about it before now, because I'm not sure what it signifies (and because I'm afraid of sleep critics), but Isaac's falling asleep process has been changing. Over the past 18 nights I have only nursed Isaac to sleep six times*, or a third of the time. That's a big change, as I previously nursed him to sleep 95% of the time. You should know, however, that I've been trying to avoid this change, so please don't congratulate me on finally sleep training Isaac and breaking that pesky nurse-to-sleep association.

I'm kidding, sort of. I mean, I really did try to nurse him to sleep each of those nights, as in many ways it is easier for me -- when it works, it's efficient, it's fast, and I can use the computer while I'm doing it. So I wasn't trying to break him of the habit. But it wasn't up to me -- this was Isaac's own choice. On March 26 he finished nursing and instead of drifting off to sleep as usual, he turned to me and said, "Bed."

Isaac had never done anything like this before. In fact, he usually cries so much when we put him down awake that we stopped trying long ago. This time he didn't cry when I put him in his bed -- although he didn't fall asleep either. That part didn't surprise me, as over the course of his entire life he has only fallen asleep in his own bed two or three times. But I could tell that for once he was actually trying to fall asleep -- he lay quietly, at least when he wasn't tossing and turning. I sat by his bed, patted his back, and sang quietly for 25 minutes, but in the end Craig had to rock him to sleep. Same thing happened the next night.

But then on March 29 he finally did fall asleep in his bed, and the next night too. Out of the past 18 nights he has fallen asleep in his bed seven times, slightly more than a third of the time. (If you're doing the math, on the remaining five nights Craig rocked Isaac to sleep after I had given up on the bed.) It is clearly a struggle for him, as his falling asleep process isn't quick or easy -- it takes between 15 and 30 minutes, and he thrashes about as if he's hoping to catch sleep in a headlock. I've stopped singing to him, as I'm not sure it helps, but I do rest a firm hand on the back of his legs to help steady their restlessness.

This is how we hoped Isaac's sleep habits would improve -- naturally, without having to resort to sleep training or endure hours of crying -- and I am pleased, really. At this point, however, his habits haven't fully improved, and it's sometimes inconvenient and frustrating. The falling asleep process can grow very lengthy, and this is a drain on our family as well as a blow to the total amount of sleep Isaac gets. For instance, here are three of Isaac's falling asleep scenarios:

1. nurse for 25 minutes and then fall asleep = 25 minutes
2. nurse for 25 minutes, require me to sit by his bed for 30 minutes, and then fall asleep = 55 minutes
3. nurse for 25 minutes, require me to sit by his bed for 30 minutes, require Craig to rock him for 15 minutes, and then fall asleep = 70 minutes

If you end up with #3, it can really consume your whole evening.

However, I'm optimistic, based partly on Isaac's vocabulary -- in addition to "bed," he now says "nap" and "bedtime," which indicate an interest in sleep as well as an awareness of tiredness. After all, I never thought I'd see the day that Isaac actually asked to be put to bed!

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*Bedtime only -- for naps and night wakings he still falls asleep after nursing.