A few weeks ago I took a little longer than usual to respond to Izzy's night-time cries, and by the time I opened his bedroom door the poor kid was sobbing. His cheeks were wet with tears and his nose was wet with ... with what, exactly?
He said "tears" as he rubbed at his streaming nose. Not a bad assumption, really, although I had to tell him tears only come from your eyes. Then a few weeks later he said "earwax" as he wiped his sticky nose. That's another good piece of deductive reasoning, although after I stopped laughing I had to tell him they call it earwax for a reason.
I usually tell him that he has a runny nose, but that's dodging the issue. Clearly, he needs a noun -- a word that means mucus. And why not, you may ask, mucus itself? For the same reason we don't use urine and feces, I guess -- too clinical. (Plus, it's awfully convenient that pee and poop are both noun and verb.) [We do, however, use all the proper names for the parts of his body, so maybe this is an inconsistent argument. I'll think about that.]
Anyway, what to call it? Snot is one option, although I feel like it might be the slang equivalent of crap -- a little too racy, and therefore not a word you'd like your child to say to his kindergarten teacher when he asks her for a tissue. Booger seems too juvenile, plus I'm not sure it describes the liquid form.
And while I'm grossing out my readers, what about passing gas? As with runny nose, I find that to be a perfectly acceptable phrase -- but what do you call the noun that results? The obvious answer is fart, but I have the same fears about it that I do about snot. And I honestly can't think of another noun for it. The kid needs to know, too -- currently when he passes gas, he says, with some confusion, "Poopy diaper?" I'd like to be able to tell him, with confidence, what to call it.
So, experienced parents, any suggestions?
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