Birthday celebrations

Last Sunday we had a party to celebrate Isaac's second birthday. I've begun a new photo album of Isaac's fifth six months (if that makes sense), and a number of photos from the party are posted there.

On his birthday proper, however, I thought I would try something different -- I resolved to let him decide what he wanted to do. (Although many of our daily activities are chosen for his benefit, I'm usually the one making the final decisions.) Taking it one step further, I also resolved to say "no" as little as possible. I wasn't sure what to expect.

Honestly, it ended up as an uneventful day. On one hand, Isaac isn't quite old enough to comprehend carte blanche -- I assume that in a few years he'll be eager to give me a full schedule of activities. On the other hand, it really seemed that he didn't want to do anything "special." This surprised me a little bit. Even more surprising, however, was how easy and peaceful the day was without me saying "no."

At 9:00 in the morning I asked Isaac, "What do you want to do today? We can go out to a park or a store, or we can see animals at the museum or the zoo. We can play in the yard, or go for a hike with the dog. Or we can stay inside and play."

He chose to stay home. At first he wanted to watch Mr. Mario clean our house, since it was the day for the housekeepers. Then he wanted to play with some of his new toys. Then he wanted to take the dog for a walk down the block.

This was the world's slowest walk, much to our dog's disappointment, because instead of intermittently hurrying Isaac along for Walt's benefit, I let Isaac stop and look at every single thing that caught his interest. For instance, Isaac wanted to climb a brick staircase that leads up from the street through our neighbor's front garden. Usually I wouldn't have allowed this because I feel uncomfortable entering someone else's property, but I withheld my reflexive "no." We played on that staircase for at least fifteen minutes. I also let Isaac walk right up another neighbor's driveway and play with the reflectors that marked its edge. No harm came of it, and Isaac remained happy and engaged throughout our walk.

When we got back home, there was still time for us to go somewhere before lunch, so I repeated some of the options for Isaac. He considered going to a park, but instead he decided to watch the housekeepers mop the floor. Then, after they left, he mopped the floor for quite a long time. Then he wanted to go for another walk -- but to my surprise, this time he wanted to ride in the stroller. If I had been making the decisions, I would never have discovered this. So I got the dog's leash again, and we all went for another walk (at least this one was brisk).

Then it was time to get ready for lunch. As usual, when Isaac finished washing his hands, he didn't want to get down from the step-stool, but this time I didn't make him stop playing in the sink. I simply had a seat and waited to see what would happen. I assumed he'd be there for a long time, delaying our lunch and throwing off our whole schedule, but after washing his hands two more times and doing a bit of splashing, he happily shut off the water and left the bathroom on this own, ready for lunch. This was also a surprise.

The day continued in the same uneventful yet contented manner. I won't recount the rest of it, because I know it sounds dull. Eventually even I was desperate to go somewhere (besides on a walk), so we went out to dinner. We went to Nation's, where Isaac had a hot dog, French fries, and lemon cream pie, and where he repeatedly said, "I like this food."

But even though the day was lacking in fascinating outings, I discovered several useful things -- our neighbors don't seem to mind trespassers, and Isaac likes to ride in the stroller. More seriously, I realized how counterproductive saying "no" can be, and how many times it isn't required at all. And I was glad to disprove the cautionary proverb "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile." Isaac and I had a fun time together, even if it wasn't glamorous, and I think we both realized we could trust each other to make good choices.

Maybe I'll try to make this a birthday tradition.