Shared genes

Before Isaac was born, I was really scared by the thought of giving birth. Asking other women about their birth experiences was one way I dealt with my anxiety -- even if they had a hard time, at least they survived to tell the tale! No, I'm kidding. Naturally I sought out positive birth stories, and there are a lot of them out there. Hearing them can be inspiring and strengthening. (At a recent playgroup gathering I was asked to tell Isaac's birth story in honor of his second birthday, and I really enjoyed being able to share my own positive experience.)

But when I was pregnant I especially wanted to hear about the labor and delivery experiences of my mother and grandmothers, since I figured our shared genes might help predict my experience. My mother had always said that childbirth wasn't that big of a deal, but since she is a notorious optimist and thinks that nothing is a big deal, at the time I wasn't sure whether to find her claims reassuring or not. Now I know I should have been more comforted by her positive experiences -- a local anesthetic (which she now doubts was necessary) administered right before my delivery, and natural births with my subsequent two siblings.

My grandmothers' stories were harder to uncover, due to diffidence and memory -- neither of them likes to talk about themselves, and in my paternal grandmother's case, we're talking about births that happened about 70 years ago. Her first child was born at home; a nurse was there during the labor, and a doctor showed up for the birth itself. My grandmother remembers that the labor took a long time, and that during it she walked around and around the dining table.

With my father, her middle son, she went into labor in the grocery store at dinner time. She drove herself home, where my grandfather was, and they proceeded to the hospital. The doctor was busy, but the baby couldn't wait -- my grandfather had to put on a mask and gown and help the nurse administer the anesthetic gas. My father was born about an hour after my grandmother left the grocery store!

My maternal grandmother gave birth 11 times, and she jokes that her doctor said she was so good at it that he only ever had to give her an aspirin. (Now, of course, aspirin is inappropriate because it keeps your blood from clotting. Shows you what doctors know.) Despite all those babies being born, the only story I've heard was about the time my grandmother had to drive herself to the hospital in labor because my grandfather wasn't home. And, since he had their only car, she had to drive across Los Angeles in one of the trucks from their business -- a garbage truck, with a governor that limited the speed to 35 m.p.h.

I think there might be some exaggeration in the retelling of this story, but the spirit is true, and even inspiring -- women are strong, labor is endurable, and women do whatever is required to get that baby safely out.

And should I ever need to drive myself anywhere while I'm in labor, I can feel confident knowing that I come from a long line of women who did just that.

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Mom (and other relatives), corrections and additions to these stories are welcome!