"Dr. Laura would be proud"

I am a stay-at-home parent 80% of the time -- I'm home with Isaac for four days and work outside the home one day. Craig takes the other 20% -- he works four days and stays home with Isaac on the day that I work. (Weekends we all spend together.) We've been doing this for the last seven months, since Isaac was six months old, and so far it has worked very well for us. (Why it works for us is a topic for another post, I suppose.)

But balancing parenthood and money and career and childcare is a complex issue, and unfortunately there are few easy answers -- every family has different needs, requirements, priorities, solutions, and struggles; these change over time. I would never suggest that our way is the One Right Way.

So I was chatting at work with a clerk I hadn't seen since before Isaac was born, and I briefly explained my family's childcare solution -- that Craig and I share responsibility. She said, "That's great! I'm a big believer in stay-at-home parents." I smiled and nodded, assuming she was about to say something politically liberal about gender equity in marriage, or the importance of hands-on fathers.

Which is why I was so surprised when she said, "Dr. Laura would be proud of you."

"Oh dear!" I said, not able to disguise my horror. Wait, I thought, maybe she's joking?

Nope. "I think that's a good thing," she said lamely.

We were quiet for an awkward while. Then I tried to smooth things over by saying, truthfully, how satisfying both Craig and I have found our time at home with Isaac, and how it has been the best choice for our family (emphasis intentional!).

This could have been another case of parenthood making strange bedfellows -- Dr. Laura and me! -- except that according to her Wikipedia article, she actually believes "mothers should stay at home with their child for the first three to five years, after which either the mother or the father should stay home." I'm not surprised to discover that Dr. Laura would not be proud of me after all -- and maybe I'm even a little relieved!